“Roadblocks manifest when we make excuses of why we can’t do something. Roadblocks manifest when we decide to quit instead of fighting until we achieve our goals. We create our own roadblocks, and we are the only person who can overcome these roadblocks if we choose to. Roadblocks are made to make us stronger and smarter. The stronger and smarter we become, the less roadblocks we will encounter in our life.” Nav Vii
Namaste,
I thank Mother Universe as I start my 5th day at home
From hospital I thought to my sanctuary I would never get - surroundings that where familiar, my sofa, my photos, that wonderful wake up to the sunrise as she peeps gently first into my room until she becomes this powerful, wonderful energising ball - until it's time for sunset when she disappears in a blaze of glory upon my horizon - giving way for the glorious moon in all her radiance.
Yes for those 10 days in hospital all I wanted was my sanctuary
However, I had hard lessons to learn even an apartment is huge when you have 3 broken limbs, the logistics of even a cup of tea! (Which by the way my addiction to has now been well and truly broken)
From a friend a Monday morning 'hard yards chat' ( my stability frame very firmly placed out of reach so I could not even contemplate moving! - even if I could) about how things are different - patience is required, if it takes 10 minutes to stand up - that's how long it takes. If it takes 20 minutes to get to the bathroom that's how long it takes!
My old ways no longer would serve me I am told in an emphatic tone but couched with tenderness ( I know nevertheless less it's emphatic as the hands are moving in large rhythmic gestures similar to an artist working on a beautiful painting) this situation is only temporary I am told - inconvenient yes, difficult to adjust to yes, - but it's only temporary and I can develop strategies to serve me - better serve me
I had to develop new ways - different stations within my home, one to rest , one to study , one to eat - so if it takes 20 minutes to the kitchen I have a chair there so I can wait on the kettle to boil - I make my cuppa and I sit there to drink and finish it. Then I have the option to return to my reading / leisure / study stations - So from last Monday new strategies in place to clam and serve the body and the mind
Tuesday hard lessons again from my best friend - a road trip by car and wheel chair for a check-up Not a great passenger (a control thing) I am sweating unsure if it is the anxieties of the car, the trip or just the effort of hauling myself into her car.
A captive audience again I hear about my impatience, that things for me now are paced differently, no I can't do my hour of a Pilates daily, I cannot cycle my bike for 50 to 100k, or finish the last few Sportives for the year, no I can't work with my Pilates / therapy clients, no I can't teach my Pilates Reformer /Mat classes - yes all that is so physical in my life is now suspended - but only suspended
I have not lost a limb, been paralysed or killed, my old self my old life is only suspended – all this is only temporary. Will things ever be the same no, will I be the same no – but for now all this is only temporary.
At this present time I cannot be impatient with those who love me and who are doing their best to care for me - my pain, my discomfort, my irritation are not excuse’s - no it may not get done my way - but it will get done ! My learning did not stop there more tough love conversations for me in the evening, about how being stubborn and stupidly independent was not serving me either!!
How it was not enough to listen but that I had to hear - to understand the impact of my accident on all those around me - how the impact had overwhelmed them, how it had asked questions of them and of their relationships with me and more importantly my relationship with myself!!
I was never a big fan of mirrors - I never felt the reflection was me and yet as a
Wellness Coach I use reflections all the time with my clients!.
These reflections now, they are my reflections - gosh I have a lot to learn
So today Amida Buddha, today Mother Universe I place myself in your hands, as I do and did every morning but today with more humility, less desire for control and an acceptance of how things will be today - not as I want them to be
I always love to learn, in fact I was on my way to the bank to collect Dollars when the collision happened ready and excited for a 4 day learning experience in the US. But this time the learning is more subtle it's about me!
Acceptance, tolerance, patience and love - love of self
Today - is and will be my best day ever
For all your love and support - my family, my life friend and friends you know who you are I say thank you and I hear you x
And to you I say Namaste.
So today Amida Buddha, today Mother Universe I place myself in your hands, as I do and did every morning but today with more humility, less desire for control and an acceptance of how things will be today - not as I want them to be
I always love to learn, in fact I was on my way to the bank to collect Dollars when the collision happened ready and excited for a 4 day learning experience in the US. But this time the learning is more subtle it's about me!
Acceptance, tolerance, patience and love - love of self
Today - is and will be my best day ever
For all your love and support - my family, my life friend and friends you know who you are I say thank you and I hear you x
And to you I say Namaste.